Geri Allen’s Memorial Service

When I left work today, I walked over to Heinz Chapel. There was going to be a Memorial for Geri Allen. I battled with idea of going. I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know her like everyone else knew her, and I saw a different side of her, but I told Paula I would meet her there. She and I were in the same boat, about our feelings for her. I was glad that I wasn’t alone.
When I arrived at the chapel, I was handed a program with her picture on it, and the picture of her in front of her piano was blown up and sitting on a stand, as soon as you walked in. There she was the woman, who frustrated me when she wouldn’t answer her phone, so I could get answer to move forward with a project, or a task. There she was the woman, who didn’t meet me on my first day, except for two seconds by a parking meter, after a meeting that I didn’t know was still on or not. There she was the woman, who encouraged me to apply for the position full-time, but didn’t chose me anyways. I walked past her picture, and down the left side of the right aisle, I saw Paula. I slide in to the pew next to her. She squeezed my hand. I could tell this was difficult for her too.
Before, I arrived I saw the Chancellor speak on the live stream, Dean Blee’s speech, and then Irene play one of Geri’s songs on the piano, but I missed Aiden’s cello song, and I walked right in the middle of Michael Heller’s speech. His speech was nice. Then Deane Root spoke, the chair of the music department. He called to mind the people that were in touch with Geri, and who have worked with Geri during her many projects. How she was dedicated to the students and wanted more for them, and more opportunities for them.
After the chair’s speech, Geri’s brother made a speech and gave us updates about Geri. He said something to the effect that, this is the last time that he will participate in any memorial for her, because he is trying to move on, and is tired of crying. I was touched by his speech, but I couldn’t ignore how conflicted my feelings were for her. I can’t help but feel so differently. I can’t ignore it. I don’t know.
After two jazz songs, people got up to leave. Members from the jazz committee recognized me and gave me a hug and asked how I was doing. I even spoke to Gail Austin for a moment. She gave me a hug and was glad to see me. I was missed, respected, and liked. This position just wasn’t meant for me and I am at peace with that decision. It took me a while to get here. I am glad Frank is in this position.
When we were on our way outside, I approached Dean Blee. She remembered me from the Sociology department. I shook her hand, and reintroduced myself. I introduced Andrew to the Dean. We chatted for a bit about Geri and how I came from the Music Department, and how I was temping. She didn’t realize I came from Music, and was glad that I approached her. She is a sweet woman.
On our way home, I was having severe pains in my groin. I have had a rash there for a couple weeks. I thought it was razor burn, or ingrown hairs. I made a gyno appointment for tomorrow morning. I called them this afternoon. I was concerned. I thought maybe I was ovulating, but that typically happens after my period. I was so confused and in a bit of pain. When we got home, I got a shower, and put some chicken in the oven. I didn’t have much of an appetite. I was nervous for what the gyno was going to say in the morning.

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