Today we had to go to Monroeville to see my cousins. This was supposed to be our Christmas celebration. Drew and I spent Christmas Eve alone this year and Christmas Day with our families, at his parents. Our traditions have changed a bit, so we don’t get to see my cousins on Christmas Day anymore. It is different, but it is what it is.
When it comes to going to Monroeville, the drive out there is semi long for Drew and I living in Moon Township, so that is annoying, it is not such a nice area, and it’s a huge chunk of time spent out there when we visit my cousins. Its not that I don’t like seeing them. I would prefer to see them at my parents, or have them come to my house, but Katie is getting older and it is harder for her to get around anymore. I get it.
On the other hand, Drew hates going to Monroeville. He would much rather not go, but he attends because it is important to me. When we arrived, my parents were already there. We walked in, and Angie immediately wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. I smiled and said, “hey.” I hugged Angie. I did notice that she is dressing differently these days. She is less girly and more tomboy ish, and almost like a boy. Her hair is cut short, and she wears jeans and flannel along with a knitted hat. I don’t know why. She looked so cute, when she was dressed all girly. What happened? Angie had a friend over Asia. We met her before. She said some really disturbing things about her home life, last time I met her, and I was shocked at what I was hearing.

Well Dorcas, Angie and Mackenzie’s mom was nowhere to be found. She went to get the pizza. I gave my mom and look and she hugged me and whispered in my ear, “Welcome to the mad house.” I shook my head. I was so annoyed at my mom. She pretty much guilt tripped me to setting a date to come out here and this is what I come into? I was just over it. Drew and my dad went into the living room and my dad was watching basketball. Angie and her friend were running around, laughing and screaming. Katie was there, but she is just not equipped to care for them and babysit them. She just hangs out.

Finally Dorcas arrived with the pizza. She said, they didn’t have it ready when she arrived she had to wait for it. At one point Mackenzie, came downstairs to grace us with her presence. She was in bed sleeping! How could you sleep through this? Plus two dogs are jumping around.  It was madness. We ate pizza and I was just trying to be surface level with Angie. I didn’t want her hanging on me. I wanted her to know that I was not having it anymore, so I kind of ignored her a bit, and only talked to her, when she addressed me. I was not in a good mood.

After we ate, I noticed that Angie and her little friend were in the living room, so I went into see them. I didn’t want to be mean to her. I just don’t want to be hung all over. I don’t want her thinking that is okay. I sat on the couch with her and she came over to talk to me. She showed me some really disturbing cartoons on her phone of a kid dressed like a goth with blood around him. I asked her why she was into that scary stuff? Her friend Asia said, that Angie refers to herself as Satan’s child. I was shocked. I looked at Angie, and said, “really?” she said, “ya.” I said, “that’s not cool ya know. That is scary. You need to talk to someone about that, because that is not right. It’s not cool to hurt people and refer to yourself as Satan’s child.” Then she told me that she is depressed and that she is afraid people in her life won’t support her, when she tells them how she feels. She started crying. I said, “What is wrong.” I let her hug me, and I held her and she cried into my shoulder. She then pulled back and told me that she is into girls. I said, “oh okay, well that’s not wrong. You know your mom and Katie will support you correct and love you.” She said, “I know my mom will, but I don’t think Katie will.” Angie is 10. I don’t think she really knows that she is into girls yet, or not. I think she is projecting for attention. Mackenzie already put her mom and her family through so much, when she was dating her now ex boyfriend. I think this might be Angie’s way of seeking attention.
At one point, Angie and Dorcas (her mom) talked about what Angie said, and how she feels. Dorcas told me that they have already had this talk before. I said, okay, well you need to get it across to her, that she comes off like you guys haven’t and is crying because she thinks you won’t support her.” Angie said, “She forgot.” I said, “well you can’t forget, because people are going to get concerned and rush around trying to help you like I did, thinking that you were in need, when in reality you already had this talk.” It is weird behavior. I  think I handled it well, but damn. Dorcas told me that she is on depression meds. She is 10! this is a whole new time. I just wrote about things and talked to my mom that was my depression meds, but then again this is a different time and a different world with social media.
When we finally left, I talked to Drew about it and he was like I think you handled that well and you are going to be a great mom. I said, don’t ask me how i did it. I was floored, but then again, I did kind of call this years ago. There is no male influence in that house. Maybe that wouldn’t have made a difference, or maybe it would, but either way it is an intense situation and Dorcas is getting older and has to take care of Katie her sister, and Mackenzie is going to leave the first chance she gets. Its not a good situation really. It is sad. When we got back to Moon, we did some grocery shopping, then it was home to relax with what was left of our evening.

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