Not a Good Day

This morning, I could tell that there was something on the horizon. I  didn’t know what, but I didn’t have a good feeling. I just felt so in my head with school and work. Yesterday, I had a one-on-one with my supervisor about things I need to work on, and about my review. It went okay, it’s things that I need to put in motion, when I am given the opportunity to do so, and things I can work on, it is all fixable. I plan to do all of these things. I just am trying to live up to everyone’s expectations in my work life, and the expectations I have set for myself, and then the professors expectations. I was just so in my head today.

Today, I was going to leave early to take my final for methodology. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, because I am a terrible test taker, and I didn’t do too well on the midterm.
Around 12:40pm Brian came by to meet me. We had to head over to the Petersen to get our assignments. We were volunteering to be line marshals for the Ph.D commencement ceremony. I really want to get involved with Special Events, and or Athletics. I hope to eventually one day be in a position in one of those two departments.
When we arrived at the Loading Dock, we met with a woman from special events, I can’t remember her name, but we met before. She and I worked for the Frontier’s conference last year, or two years ago now. She remembered me, which was nice. She walked us up to the food court level, and told us our responsibilities. The graduates will be sitting in this area, and explained to us our duties. Nothing too major.
After we left the Pete, I went to the parking garage, and got into my car and drove home. Once I got home, I grabbed a beer, and made something to eat. I was a little hungry. Then I set up my computer and Andrew’s computer, so I could take the final on one, and research on the other. The final wasn’t too bad, I feel like I knew more, than I did on the midterm, but still I never know. There were a few I wasn’t too sure about and couldn’t find the answer in my notes, this always happens. I clicked submit and it only took me an hour or so.
Afterwards, I went to RMU and it felt good to drive on campus and be in familiar area. I really needed to be where things were familiar. I remember when this was my biggest hurdle in life. Things are harder; my job, grad school, and sometimes my marriage, but RMU is home. It is where it all started. It still has the same magical feeling to me, as it did, when I first arrived. I met my best friend here, Anthony. I grew so much here, academically, mentally, and emotionally.
When I got home, Drew was home. We greeted each other and he asked how many final went? I told him how I felt and how I wasn’t sure, but it felt like I knew more than I did on the midterm. I got ready to go to ballet barre class. I was going to be late, but at least it was something.
When i arrived, I missed some warm ups, so I just dove right into it. She changed up the routine a little, and I wasn’t quite getting the move that she was doing, so she came over and stood in front of me, so I could see and started do the move, so I could do it properly. I have never had to have that type of instruction. I know she was doing her job, so I fluffed it off, but I was so annoyed. I am good at this, usually, but just not today for some reason.
After barre was over, my butt and legs were swore so I know I definitely go something out of it, even though I was late to class. Chris, the instructor asked me if I went on my trip yet? I told her no, not until May 23-June 1st. She is supposed to train me, when we get back. I told her I was in grad school and it was preventing me from attending  class with finals, and papers, but it is over for the summer and I am hers. She said sounds good. I told her I would see her Sunday in Ambridge for barre class. She said, see you then kiddo.
When I left the gym, I went home, preheated the oven, and then got a shower. When I got out of the shower, I got dressed, and then went downstairs, put some fish in the oven, and made a protein shake. I was so over this day. I sat on the couch and turned on Reign. I wanted to finish the last few episodes. This was the least season. I am going to miss it. I love period dramas.
When Drew came home, he put the fish away, and then made me a lunch for tomorrow. He came into the living room and watched Reign with me. After Reign was over, he and I talked about my feelings and was there for me 100% and so supportive. He tells me I am hard on myself. I think I am too. I can’t help it. I don’t know how to not be. Afterwards, I went upstairs, brushed my teeth, and went to bed. It was going to be a long day tomorrow.

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