First of the Year Appoinments

This morning, I woke up at 8:30AM and called the Dentist. My Fitbit says I only slept for 4 hours, which isn’t a whole lot, but I couldn’t fall asleep. The dentist said they could see me at 11:20am. I got a shower, and made some coffee, and watched a little television. I was going to miss one episode of Dawson’s Creek due to this appointment at 11:20am, so I wasn’t too happy about that and I was so nervous for bad news.

When I arrived at the Dentist, it was 11:00AM. They took me back on time, and took some x-rays. The Dentist told me that it is a really deep filling, and that I would need a root canal. I need to take care of it now, if I don’t, I would have to get an implant and that would cost double than a crown!

This is my second root canal, and my second crown! I am so pissed. Of course, but surprisingly, I am rolling with it. Things are about to turn around, right? The root canal is scheduled for the 16th, and my cleaning for the 23rd, so here we go. I dropped off my prescriptions and went home to type up this entry, and finish watching the second episode of Dawson’s Creek, then back out to get my prescriptions.

Whew! Tomorrow, I have a gynecologist appointment please let good news come from that one!

Anthony’s New Position

This morning, I woke up and it was Friday finally. I got up around 10am, and made some coffee and watched Dawson’s Creek, applied for jobs, and talked to Anthony. He is on his way over eventually. He had a job interview downtown at PNC for an operations associate. He told me about the job and how he found it on Linkedin. I think saw that one. I didn’t apply for it, because Drew used to work for PNC and he hated it. I know I am not in a situation to be picky, but I can’t help but be.This is not how I thought 2017 was going to turn out. If I think about what I envisioned for the start of this year, then I will start to cry. I am trying to stay busy. I did make a therapy appointment. I called yesterday. I found out that she is leaving and starting her own private practice in the South Hills. This was the second person that I talked to who was moving on, and probably not going to be someone I can go to for help anymore. The thought of starting over with a new therapist makes me feel anxiety ridden as it is. I don’t want to go back. I want to go forward.
When Anthony, came over we chatted out his interview. He did get the offer, and is so excited about his job at PNC, as an operations associate. I was so happy for him. I didn’t feel jealous of him at all. I wanted him to be happy and I am glad he is staying in Pittsburgh now. We talked about my situation, and how excited he is to finally get out of Friday’s.
When Drew came hme from work, Anthony was still there. Drew was excited for him to hear about his new job, and we all talked for a while, then Anthony went home to drink wine and celebrate his new position.
When Anthony left, Drew and I talked about his Anthony’s new position. All I know is that I want a job so badly, but I am not about to take someone’s glitter away, because I am not happy. I am not that kind of person. Andrew and I went to Giant Eagle, and got some beers, pizza, and chips. We were on a junk food binge. We also stopped at the Redbox and rented Jason Bourne. By the time we got home, made the pizzas and drank a couple beers we were tired and had to save the movie for tomorrow.

Closing the Loop….

This morning, I woke up around 9:30AM, and got a shower. I had to get ready for the mattress delivery men and I had to get the bed stripped. After my shower, I got dressed and stripped the bed. I made some coffee and watched Dawson’s Creek, then Leanne called me and we chatted while the mattress guys came to deliver the mattress. I don’t like being alone when delivery men show up.

While the men were dragging the new mattress up and taking the old one out of the house, my other line beeped in on the phone, and it was CMU. I told Leanne to hang on. I clicked over and it was Gloria Gruber from CMU. I thought this was the moment, but I wasn’t sure because I could tell in her voice, that she didn’t seem excited.  Typically, one can tell right away, whether it was good news or not. It was not good news. She told me she was calling to “Close the loop on the position.” I did not receive the position, because they chose not to fill it at the present time, but they are going to go ahead and put a temp in the position for now. I was so upset. I said, “Oh okay, well thank you for calling and letting me know.”

When I got off the phone with her, I clicked back over to Leanne. I told her what happened. She told me not to worry something will come through for me. I told her I was coming over when the mattress guys left. I had to get out. I felt like the house was getting smaller and closing in on me.

After the guys left, I called Drew when I was getting ready to walk out the door. I wasn’t sure how he was going to react, or what he was going to say. I knew he would be upset at the fact that I didn’t get it. I know he isn’t mad at me and this whole thing isn’t my fault. I have been applying for jobs, but nothing has been coming out of it. I know its probably because of the holidays, and etc. I get it, but damn. I miss the music department, and my friends.

When I got to Leanne’s, she was sitting there finger knitting and Maci was on the couch. She was sick. I went there to take my mind off of the situation, so she taught me how to finger knit. I couldn’t tell if I liked it or not, but it did take my mind off things. While I was there, I called Jason from Volt and he said he no longer works at Volt. He started working at Dollar Energy yesterday was his first day. He did tell me some names of people I could contact. Wow all my old contacts are not working for me in the way they once did. I stayed until 3pm then I went home. I had to make dinner. I just didn’t want to be there anymore. I wasn’t in the mood for her. I love her, but I couldn’t be around her today. When I got home, I made dinner, did some laundry, and fixed our bed. I applied for jobs.

Then Drew came home, and I knew I was going to cry the moment I saw him. I cried all evening. I think he did too a little in his own little way. I kind of knew that there was a possibility that I wasn’t going to get it, but at the same time I was still so hopeful, and so ready to accept the position, because of how I got the interview, it just seemed written in the stars, but I am back to square one. I hope something comes from these applications that I have been putting in, especially the one at Pitt. I told Paula, and she was sad for me. I told her I applied for the Theatre Arts administrator. She said she was going to reach out to her contact for me. It was a sad evening, and one that I do not want to relive.

New Years Eve

New Years Eve

When we woke up, we went to the gym, and got a little work out in, then I came home, and did some more laundry. We made a nice dinner, and had a few drank together. We had a great New Year’s Eve, but I was so hormonal.

On top of the fact, that New Year’s Eve, makes me uneasy already. It always has. In the blink of the moment, 2016 will be over, and it will be on to another year, whether we are ready for it or not. I hate not knowing what is around the corner, but I was ready for 2017..sort of?

IKEA/Family

Today, we went to mattress firm, and got our mattress replaced, they are going to deliver it the first weekend of January. Then to IKEA to get a bed frame, which had to be assembled, and it was in 3 big boxes. We didn’t think this through. On the way to Brian and Melissa’s, we had to hold the longest piece steady, in between Drew and I in the car.  Every time Drew turned. The longest piece, would move move and hit Drew in the head. It was kind of funny. He had a tender spot on his head, from the box hitting him.

When we arrived at Brian and Melissa’s, Tommy and Megan were already there, and they brought Butters. Brian and Melissa just got a new puppy. It was the cutest thing in the world. I was holding her throughout the night and it definitely gave me puppy fever! I want one so bad. Dinner was yummy and we got so many left overs for the week.
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Christmas Day

In the morning, we woke up we opened gifts with each other, and then got ready to go to his parents’. We already knew each other’s gifts. I received a FitBit Alta from Drew. I gave Drew wireless headphones that are like mine, but they are black. We relaxed, until it was time to get Grandma. We had to pick Grandma up at 12pm, then go to Oakdale to his parent’s new house.
After we got there, my parents showed up, and it was so nice to have my parents there. We were finally all together on a holiday! Megan and I drank wine together all day. It was nice and relaxing. My mom helped clean up with Aunt Tootsie in the kitchen. I was glad everyone was there. It makes things so much easier, on Drew and I without having to travel back and forth on Christmas. We left around 8pm and took Grandma home. It is hard to get her in and out of the car. Once we got home, we relaxed for the rest of the evening. Another Christmas in the books.

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Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve

My Christmas Eve traditions have changed over the years. We used to go to my Aunt and Uncle’s in Upper Saint Clair, up until my Aunt and my Grandma passed away. The traditions in the family have changed. So ever since our family traditions changed, we have been going to my parent’s friends’.

We went to my parent’s around 1pm, opened gifts then went to Christmas Eve mass. After church, we went home fed the dogs, and then got ready to go to Carol and Fred’s. It was nice, but I am ready to relive the magic of Christmas again. Christmas used to be so magical, when I was a child, and as I became adult it lost its magic in a way to me. I think as an adult, the magic is being with the one’s you love, until children come along, and then you create the magic for them.  I am ready for a new Christmas tradition.