Today, Alicia wanted us to be at the church at 9am for a wedding that does not start until 4pm. Autumn brought us all doughnuts, and we got ready in the smallest room ever, it was the only room that had air-conditioning in the building.
When she arrived, I finally got the chance to talk to her. She told me how she felt about yesterday. She felt as though she did not get the pictures she wanted, because I was in the way. I said, “That is how I was placed by the photographer and if you didn’t like something than you should have said something, then you should have spoken up and told me to move, or told the photographer you didn’t like that formation.” She didn’t have anything to say. She asked me to not be so rude today, like yesterday. I said, “I wasn’t trying to be rude, that is my personality, when things are out of control, and you do not have someone there to control it, then don’t complain about how it is being controlled, or how people are reacting. It was a mess yesterday.” She said,”I didn’t even know what was going on, or what was happening.” I said, “So you turn your back on your flower girl’s mom, when she asks you instead of trying to find a solution. You just walk away, and leave it for someone else to handle, then complain about how it is handled, that is not the right way to do things.” She said, “Well I did that because I just didn’t know, so I didn’t give an answer.” I said, “It was rude, Alicia, and I am not going to apologize for something that you didn’t handle correctly, and left for me, but then want to complain about how I handled it.” She said, “Promise you will be nicer today.” I said, ”Alicia, I am not a mean person. I do have a personality though, and I am different from you, just because I do not handle things like you do; does not mean I am wrong. I am not going to be apologizing for being me, and I am not apologizing that you did not get the picture you wanted, because you did not say anything, but we can move on from this point, and you will have a beautiful day that you deserve.” She hugged me and said that means a lot to her, but we left it at that, and had a good day.
Honestly, so much has changed for us since our friendship began, and we are not the same children that grew up together. I am thankful for who I am and the woman I have become, and if she doesn’t like it, then I don’t care. I have waited so long to tell her those things in that conversation, too long.
Right before the Bridesmaid’s went down the aisle, she said, every three steps pause, or I will be so upset. I just took a deep breath. I made eyes with one of the girls and widen my eyes a bit. is this girl crazy. I wanted so much to drop my bouquet and leave, forget this whole thing, but no I had to stomach it for her.
Alicia took my hand right before I went down the aisle. She said, “I love you.” I said, “I love you, and you look beautiful.” She squeezed my hand and looked into my eyes and I smiled and so did she. I walked down the aisle. Every three steps, I stopped and smiled like she wanted.
The ceremony was beautiful. The candles and the bouquets worked perfectly. I cried a little when I saw her walk down the aisle. She really truly deserves a beautiful day, and we gave that to her, all of us girls, but it was over for our friendship after that day.
After the ceremony, we all got into the limo, and it was off to the reception. We drank in the limo, and took pictures, and videos. I poured the champagne, and sat next to the bride and groom. When we got to the Lamont, we bustled Alicia’s dress in the bathroom, and it only took 5 mins, then it was time to head down to the ballroom. We were announced, and they cut the cake, had their first dance, and then we went to the head table. I was so hungry and nervous about my speech. I asked the DJ if he could play Foolish Games in the background when I gave him the cue. He said, “If he can find it, he will. Well I looked to the DJ when I wanted the song to play, and he hit a button and there it was our friendship song. I didn’t plan my speech, but it turned out amazingly! Alicia cried and held my hand. I was so happy the Princess approved.
After dinner, I went over to my husband, and sat on his lap put my converse on. I just could not wait to be with him, and dance with him. A man, who loved me for me, no matter how I handle things, whether they are good, or bad. He still loves me and wouldn’t change me.
Throughout the night, people left after dinner, because it took so long for the dancing to begin. Alicia lost an hour of her reception due to the fireworks. Pittsburgh’s Biennial celebration was that night as well. The photographer was so upset and over the wedding and he was the same one that we used for our wedding. Andrew kept getting him drinks throughout the night. I said, “Hey you are my date and to stop hanging out with him! We danced the legendary dance. Alicia chose our wedding song as the legendary dance, which was nice of her. After the bouquet toss and the garter toss. It was time to go home. I was ready for bed and ready to get back to my life. Thank God this wedding was over with!
I never want to be another Matron of honor again. This was enough for me. It was truly a horrible experience. Our friendship is forever changed because of it. We haven’t spoken since her wedding. I wish her the best, but I cannot be friends with someone that cannot appreciate or respect the woman I have become, and the person that I am, but we all have to respect the woman she has become without question.
Everyone has to cater to Alicia. I refuse to do so. I can’t have a friendship like that. I miss her everyday and I miss our friendship, and what we used to be, but people change for the good and the bad it is what it is. I wish her happiness and love, and hopefully we will cross paths again, but if we don’t I am at peace with it.